


He touched me, so I live to know

by SilverOpals394



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam Parrish Is Trying His Best, Adam Parrish Loves Ronan Lynch, Chapter 39, Comfort, M/M, POV Adam Parrish, Romantic Fluff, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, Soft Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, Touch-Starved, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverOpals394/pseuds/SilverOpals394
Summary: He’d never considered a touch like this one.He hadn’t known such a thing could happen to him.He neededmore.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 28
Kudos: 202





	He touched me, so I live to know

**Author's Note:**

> Around this time last year I posted a romantic [love confessions fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22683283) and this year I decided to make it a bit of a tradition. So in honor of Valentine's Day, here's some soft and romantic Pynch <3
> 
> Title is taken from Emily Dickinson's poem of the same name

With the very first brush of Ronan’s lips on his, something inside Adam came to life, and that something demanded _more_.

He’d never felt like this before, this sort of desperation. Ronan may have been the one to initiate that first kiss, but the second one was a joint effort. He didn’t even think about it.

Later, on the porch, he felt it again, that need burning within him. It was a little frightening how quickly Ronan’s lips and Ronan’s hands and Ronan’s—well, _everything_ —became something he couldn’t imagine living without. 

Ronan’s hands were on his ribs, the touch nearly making him shiver. He needed to be closer. 

His own hands moved from their place on either side of Ronan’s face down to his hips, pulling until there was no more space between them.

Ronan pulled back, but Adam could see it wasn’t because he wanted to stop.

“Fucking Christ, Adam,” he said, head falling back to rest on the pillar behind him. 

His chest was heaving, Adam mused, like something out of a goddamn romance novel. He smiled, feeling a bit ridiculous but also a bit mischievous.

“Too much for you, Lynch?” he said, turning one of Ronan’s infamous smirks back on him.

“You fucker,” Ronan said, then did exactly what Adam had wished for, crashing their lips back together wildly.

They kissed and kissed and kissed until Adam suddenly found himself being lifted onto the porch railing. He hadn’t even realized they’d turned around. 

His legs opened to allow room for Ronan’s body between them, and then they were kissing again. 

It was interesting this way, with Ronan being the one who needed to tilt his head up. His neck was stretched tantalizingly, and Adam decided he needed to know what it tasted like. He began to explore the skin there, and Ronan let out a sound he’d never heard before. His chest was heaving again. 

Not wanting to fall off the railing, but most definitely wanting to continue, Adam pulled away and reached for Ronan’s hand. He hopped down and made his way to the door, pulling Ronan along with him. 

Once they were inside he pushed Ronan onto the couch and climbed onto his lap. There, that was better. Now he had all the access to Ronan’s neck he wanted without worrying about falling anywhere. Not physically, at least. 

Just as he was leaning in, however, he noticed the look in Ronan’s eyes and it made him pause. 

Ronan was looking at him like he’d never seen him before and suddenly, he felt a little self-conscious. 

“Is this okay?” he asked.

Ronan blinked, and for a second Adam saw something like wonder on his face.

“Fuck no,” Ronan said, though he didn’t seem angry. 

Adam’s heart seized a bit, though, and he began to climb off. But Ronan stopped him, his hands gripping Adam’s hips.

“Shit,” he said, “I just meant—”

He cut himself off in order to show Adam what he was getting at. He took Adam’s face in his hands, and very pointedly led it to his throat. Adam laughed against the pale skin there.

“Impatient much?”

“Shut the fuck up and kiss me, you asshole,” Ronan answered.

So Adam returned to his earlier ministrations, cataloguing every sensation, every reaction. The sounds Ronan was making, though he was obviously trying his hardest not to make them, at once endeared Adam and lit a fire in him. Feeling brave, he ran his tongue in a hard stripe from Ronan’s collar bone nearly up to his chin, and Ronan’s head fell back onto the couch.

“You,” he said, panting, “Are going to be the death of me.”

Adam didn’t answer, just ran his hands over Ronan’s broad shoulders, a small smile on his face. He never wanted to stop touching Ronan. 

His tattoo was peeking out from his tank, and so Adam ran his fingers over it. He’d never been able to get a good look at it, not all at once. He wondered if that was allowed now. 

“What are you thinking about?” Ronan asked quietly. He knew Adam so well.

“Your tattoo,” he admitted, sheepish. 

“Oh yeah?” Ronan said, the corners of his mouth pulled up smugly.

Adam ignored him. “Can I see it?”

Ronan’s face changed when he saw Adam’s careful expression. He hoped he hadn’t crossed a line. But Ronan just nodded, reaching to take his shirt off. 

At this, Adam felt himself holding his breath. It wasn’t like he’d never seen Ronan shirtless before, but that was different. This wasn’t Adam walking into Monmouth and seeing Ronan coming out of the bathroom, fresh from a shower. (Though that had also made his heart do funny things when it happened. Things he hadn’t let himself think about.)

This was Ronan taking his shirt off _for_ Adam. And Adam knew without having to ask that this was the first time Ronan had done such a thing. That Adam was the only one he’d do it for. 

Some primal part of him was pleased at that. It felt like trust, yes, but it also felt a bit like power.

Ronan’s shirt was flung somewhere across the room and suddenly Adam realized not only did he have Ronan shirtless, but he was _sitting on his lap_ _while Ronan was shirtless._

After a moment, Ronan said, voice sounding amused, “I knew you just wanted to get me naked.”

Adam looked up then, feeling his face redden.

He’d been staring at Ronan, at the hard planes of his impossibly beautiful chest and abs. At the dark hair trailing down the skin beneath his navel. 

He was at a loss for words. Because yes, he still wanted to see Ronan’s tattoo, but god _damn_ , who could blame him for wanting to trace every inch of freshly exposed skin with his fingers and his lips? 

But there would be time for that later.

“No,” he argued, finding his voice, “Not just… I really do want to see it.”

He made himself stand so that Ronan could move, and then Ronan spread out across the couch on his stomach. 

Adam hesitated, but considering he’d already climbed onto Ronan once tonight he figured Ronan wouldn’t mind it a second time. 

As he did, he tried _very_ hard not to think about the fact that he was literally straddling Ronan’s ass. 

Well, he did his best, anyway. 

Ronan, with his face lying in his crossed arms, turned his head to look at him, and Adam knew they were both thinking the same thing. His heart began to pound the longer they stared at each other.

But as soon as his eyes moved to the tattoo, as his fingers began to trace the patterns swirling this way and that, his heart slowed into a more peaceful rhythm. 

It was fascinating, and wondrous, and wild. It was everything that made Ronan _Ronan._

“It’s beautiful,” he said quietly, almost reverent. 

Ronan was still looking at him.

“It’s you,” Adam said, looking back.

Ronan’s eyes closed and Adam’s went back to the tattoo. 

“ _Unguibus et rostro_ ,” he said, voice low.

Ronan shifted under him, turning so that they were facing each other. He took Adam’s hand and brought it to his mouth. 

With the same careful study Adam had used he explored every inch of it. He pressed a kiss to each of his fingers, and Adam’s breath caught in his throat. 

He’d never considered a touch like this one. 

He hadn’t known such a thing could happen to him. 

He needed _more._

*****

Over time, Adam began to grow used to touching Ronan, and to Ronan touching him. But that just meant the surprise was gone, not the hunger. Sometimes he couldn’t seem to get enough. He found himself sitting closer than necessary in the booth at Nino’s, just to feel his warmth. Or resting his hand on Ronan’s on the gearshift while he drove, just to be connected to him in some way until they got to wherever they were going and they could connect in more places.

After a particularly stressful day, Adam found himself driving to the Barns. The sun was just dipping below the horizon, but when he pulled up there weren’t any lights on in the farmhouse. 

He set off to find his boyfriend, and though he could literally be anywhere in the sprawling landscape surrounding them, Adam had a feeling he’d find Ronan on a roof somewhere. 

Sure enough, he found a ladder propped against one of the smaller sheds. Adam knew he didn’t actually need the ladder. He’d put it there so Adam could find him. He felt warmth inside of him at the thought, the troubles of the day beginning to fall away. 

“What’re you doing?” he asked, as he climbed up and saw Ronan lying there with his hands behind his head. 

Ronan opened his eyes and smiled at him. “Remembering,” he said. 

He reached a hand out to pull Adam close to him. Adam laid his head on Ronan’s chest, hearing side down, and Ronan’s arm snaked around him.

They didn’t speak for a long time, but Adam didn’t want to. He just wanted to lay here forever and forget about all of his problems. 

Ronan began to trace his fingers over Adam’s back soothingly, like he knew Adam needed it, and Adam couldn’t stop the lump that began to form in his throat. 

He wasn’t even really sure why he suddenly felt this way. Ronan had done this before and he hadn’t reacted like this. He turned his face into Ronan’s chest, hoping he wouldn’t start crying. 

“Hey,” Ronan said softly, “What’s wrong?”

Adam just shook his head. He wasn’t going to cry. He was not. 

Except now Ronan’s other arm was around him, too. And Ronan’s chin was on top of his head. He felt like a child being coddled, though he’d never actually experienced that before, and at once he hated it and never wanted it to stop. 

The tears began to fall then, which only served to make everything worse. He wasn’t normally like this. Usually when things felt out of control he found a way to change that, but right now all he could do was cry into his boyfriend’s arms without even really knowing why he was doing it in the first place. 

Thankfully Ronan didn’t say anything else, he just held him like he didn’t want to let go. And so with a little bit of time to clear his head, Adam thought about why he was reacting this way. 

And he realized that this was something he’d been missing his entire life. Not just being touched, but being _comforted_. 

“Thank you,” he whispered when the tears had finally stopped.

“Nothing to thank me for,” Ronan answered, looking down at him. 

Adam didn’t necessarily agree, but he didn’t want to get into that now, so he lifted a hand to his cheek and said, “What were you remembering?”

“What?” Ronan asked, eyebrows drawn in confusion.

“When I came up here,” Adam explained, “You said you were remembering.”

“Oh,” he said, his expression changing to one of fondness. “My birthday.”

Adam smiled softly. “That’s a good day to remember.”

“Mm-hmm,” Ronan agreed before leaning in to capture Adam’s lips with his own. 

They stayed like that for a while, soft kisses and softer sighs exchanged between them, and something in Adam finally settled.

Ronan pulled back first, letting out a long, contented breath. 

“I came up here that day,” he said. 

“Huh?”

“My birthday. I came up here, to this spot,” he explained. 

“You did?” Adam asked, trying to remember. 

“Yeah,” Ronan said, “After we kissed. The first time.”

Adam honestly hadn’t even thought about it at the time, where Ronan had gone after leaving him in his bedroom. He'd been too caught up in his own thoughts. 

“Why here?” he asked, genuinely curious. 

“It was the highest place I could find on short notice,” Ronan answered honestly, “I thought maybe I could fly.”

“ _Ronan_ ,” Adam choked out, tears threatening to fall once more, “I _just_ stopped crying.”

Ronan chuckled and kissed him on the forehead. Then he squeezed his arms that were still wrapped around Adam, a quick hug within a hug.

“You make me feel like I can fly, Adam Parrish,” he whispered into his good ear, “All the goddamn time.”

“Even when I get my tears and snot all over you?” he asked, voice harsher than he’d intended. He’d made progress, sure, but vulnerability was still a frightening thing.

But Ronan just pressed his forehead to Adam’s, breathing in deeply.

“No,” he said with all the warmth in the world, “ _Especially_ then.”


End file.
